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Joke of the Day

"Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose."

"How can you get a cannibal to go away? Give him the finger."

"Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights? To help them find missing sea men."

"How do you tell the difference between a Pakistani wedding and an ISIS training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone"

"Me: I don't feel well Mom: Did you eat the plastic fruit again, Gigi? Me: No Mom: ... Me: ... Mom: ... Me: *throws up plastic banana*"

"How does Schrodinger apologise? Sorry not sorry"

"Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti"

"I am a proud member of the CBC Short for 'Canadians Against Dyslexia'"

"Why should you never hit people with violins?? Because violins is not the answer..."

"Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training."