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Joke of the Day

"Say this to any woman. How does a beautiful woman change a lightbulb? Idk how? You've obviously never changed one."

"A friend of mine got crushed by falling books. He only has his shelf to blame."

"On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm."

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"A priest and a rabbi are walking and spot a little boy The priest says, ""let's fuck him."" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""

"8: hey dad can you make me a sandwich? me: poof! you're a sandwich 8: .... me: no"

"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."

"Reddit is like a shiny new penny... It's fun to look at but completely worthless"

"What do doctors do with the foreskins from circumcisions? Sell them to gay guys as chewing gum."

"I had a chat with my ex-girlfriend last night. He's doing really well."