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Joke of the Day

"almost hit a biker while i was texting & driving today so please you guys be careful do NOT ride bikes"

"Yo mamas so fat When she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water"

"How can you get rich by eating? Eat fortune cookies."

"I always let my phone ring 2 1/2 times before sending it to voicemail so the person calling knows exactly who's in control here."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Ahh yes I can see how you would think it's the ""r"", but in fact it's tha ""C""!"

"Whats the #1 crime associated with cell phones? Battery"

"Eating just one animal cracker is impossible. The entire herd must go."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"The worst thing about living in the city must be cleaning all the dead parkour people out of your chimney."