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Joke of the Day

"I'm a Buddhist pothead so I hope I'm reincarnated as a horse so I can come back and eat grass all day."

"I like watching children run around at the park. They don't realize I'm using blanks."

"Why are there so many more men in the military? Because ladies go in first."

"A wife is like a hand grenade... ...take off the ring, and you lose the house."

"2 guys with Alzheimer's. ""I'm off to go get some ice cream, do you want some?"" ""Yeah sure"" Shortly later, he returns. ""Here, I brought you your fish"" ""Fish!.............. where's my fucking chips."""

"I bet the YMCA dance is allot harder to do in Chinese."

"I can't stop coughing. Think I'll go see a movie in a crowded theater while slowly eating a bag of bone-dry popcorn."

"How did the fruits get married? They Cantaeloped!"

"You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance."

"What kind of cars do jedis drive? A toy-*yoda*"