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Joke of the Day

"I like watching children run around at the park. They don't realize I'm using blanks."

"I hate it when people come in my house and say hey do you have a bathroom?NO we shit in the sink"

"""IT'S A BOY"" I shouted, tears rolling down my face ""I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!"" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again."

"So I guess these Brazillian jokes aren't happening Neymar?"

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"Dragons aren't evil; they're just upset that they can't enjoy Popsicles and other frozen treats."

"A priest and a rabbi see a 9-year-old boy walk by The priest says ""Should we fuck him?"" ""Out of what?"" the Rabbi replies"

"I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."

"Last year for Christmas I got my little brother an abacus in the shape of a medieval Stronghold... He hated it and was really ungrateful. Our dad said ""Hey! It's the fort that counts."""

"Spent most of my early twenties trying to open a pistachio."