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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."

"Hooker What did the guy say to the hooker after he was finished? Well I'm going to leave it with you!"

"A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away"

"Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray."

"May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard."

"Everybody just wants to get off... ....This elevator because that guy stinks"

"[Drug Deal] How do I know ur not a cop? ""If I was a cop would I do this?"" *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is"

"*drives Toyota Corolla into Mordor* ""See, nobody suspected a thing"""

"So a Mexican magician says he could disappear in three seconds. He starts to count....""uno, dos"", and poof, he disappears without a tres."

"What's a crohn's patient's favourite punctuation? A semi-colon!"