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Joke of the Day

"So a Mexican magician says he could disappear in three seconds. He starts to count....""uno, dos"", and poof, he disappears without a tres."

"What do women and saxophones have in common? They both blow and make different noises when you finger them."

"What happened to be, she, and they... ...when they were discovered face-down in the mud? They were PRONOUNS dead"

"I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?"

"Who is al-Quaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Facebook instead."

"All you need is love And a super low IQ to believe that."

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"

"The fact that other bad things are happening is not an argument against fighting a particular bad thing."

"[At maternity ward] Me: is this where babies are delivered Nurse: Yes Me: You ought to be ashamed. Babies need their livers"