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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray."

"What do you call a kid that is afraid of the dark? Racist"

"*on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*"

"I went to the library and asked if they had any books on Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog. The librarian said that they may or may not have it, but that it rings a bell."

"What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage? I don't know, I just fly the drone"

"""It's the holidays"" *eats a pizza* ""It's the holidays"" *eats 3 cheeseburgers* ""It's the holidays"" *eats my food, your food & a small baby*"

"(No spoilers) What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure? ""You're such a Frank Castle."""

"What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter? A rashtag."

"Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do."

"When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can't remember what did I chose!"