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Joke of the Day
"*drives Toyota Corolla into Mordor* ""See, nobody suspected a thing"""
Next Joke
"I doubt this is what the financial advisors meant when they told Lays to... adjust for inflation."
"I Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... not on my watch."
"Mood ring Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day. When she's in a good mood it turns green. When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead."
"My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive."
"A priest checks into a hotel... says to the clerk, ""I assume the porn is disabled."" Clerk says, ""No! It's just regular porn you sick freak!"""
"Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth? A: Einstein's dick."
"I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said ""yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"""
"What do you call phrases that Jews often say? Judaisms."
"Confidence A driverless car company announced that they will not sell their product to people who have less than five years' driving experience."