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Joke of the Day

"Crazy episode of Judge Judy on right now. This guy was a month late on his rent and she just gave him the electric chair."

"I just saw a guy with a hook hand and a ponytail. Dude, you cut off the wrong thing."

"How do you find an old man in the dark? It isn't hard."

"Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents."

"What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"Chemistry, ok. But soulmates? You'd think if our spirits were perfectly matched, they'd be comfortable at the same thermostat setting."

"My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"When a bite of food falls off your plate... And you just stare at it on the ground like, ""We could've made each other happy..."""

"Luke use the father - Nuke I am your force Yay twist on words, so funneh. My friends says i'm hilarous."

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."