131208

Joke of the Day

"Chameleon wife: ""Does my bum look big in this dress?"" Chameleon husband: ""What dress? Where are you?"""

"One guy says to another Guy 1: Dude one time I stuck my dick in a brownie Guy 2: Bro that's just wrong Guy 1: Yeah, I know. You can do time for statutory."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it be arrrrrrgh, but it be the sea."

"Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote ""dirty Jew"" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year."

"What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex? Call her up and tell her where you are."

"Acid... The taste you can see!"

"Why is Donald Trump's pet bee so unwilling to share information? It's a cagey bee."

"[creation] GOD: So how do you like the flying? PENGUIN: Meh it's no big deal GOD: Oh is that right"

"Is it ok to hate a certain race? I am fine with 5km races but marathons just do my head in."

"Where did the crab work inside her new job at the pizza factory? At the crust station."