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Joke of the Day

"How does a blacksmith know you farted? He smelt it"

"Being hungry again a half hour after eating Chinese food isn't about the food being Chinese, it's about you being American."

"Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're."

"God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years"

"Her:""Let's make a baby."" Him: ""Okay! Hold on."" *goes to bathroom* [5 minutes later.] Her: ""Where'd you go?"" Him: ""You meant with you??"""

"Just fell into a toilet last night and now I'm feeling really sad... Been down in the dumps all day."

"How does a black mother tell her children apart? She remembers them by their last names."

"Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band? Because they don't even know if they believe."

"Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records."

"The biggest thing I've learned at art school is the art of disappointing my father."