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Joke of the Day

"Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band? Because they don't even know if they believe."

"What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common? Both are outdated currency."

"I'm not letting anyone into my head until I've cleaned up the place."

"What kind of bread do Rednecks like? Inbred"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute? The looks on their faces while you're nailing them."

"What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!"

"I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs."

"Two Asians are watching the weather forecast... ... and the forecast reports that there will be showers in the area. The first Asian says, ""Oh man!"" And the second Asian says, ""Bah, rain."""

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"What do you say to a bunch of worried Trump supporters? ""Don't worry, everything is going to be alt-right."""