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Joke of the Day

"God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years"

"I took up guitar lessons recently. It's pretty simple, really. Unless the song requires the blue button."

"What sound does a subatomic Cow make? Muuuuuuon"

"Why was I named after Adolf Hitler... Well, I certainly wasn't named before him!"

"What do you say to a dangerously cheesy chicken? Stay out of parms way."

"Why don't people like gay soccer players? They score against their own team."

"What do you call a large penis? A sperm whale."

"What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed? ""Holy Sheet!"""

"What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain? A masochrist."

"Sometimes, eating is very similar to driving. You trust stale greens"