214271

Joke of the Day

"Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch hillbilly criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records."

"Just finished a chat via text msg in which the girl finished every single sentence with ""lol"". It was draining lol. Wanna kill myself lol."

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"They say if you love something you should let it go... So why am I going to jail for leaving my kid in Walmart?"

"What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark? A LED Zeppelin"

"I can't wait till next years veterans day: for the ones that didn't get captured...."

"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."

"This Valentine's Day I'm single by choice Just not my choice"

"What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have? 404"

"I ordered a pizza. I don't think the guy understood how to get here. Is it free if it's 5 years late?"