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Joke of the Day

"Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're."

"Jesus must have had a chiseled, muscular body... I mean, he did cross fit, for God's sake. And the Bible tells us he was cut, ripped, and shredded."

"Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery? Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now."

"What are the names of the first two men to get married under the new Irish gay marriage law? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick"

"Why did 9 bust 1? Because 6 8 9"

"Q: What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human? A: Lettuce pray"

"When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why."

"An American doctor who contracted Ebola is said to be getting better. The bad news is he's getting better at contracting the Ebola virus."

"At the police station a) Somebody stole my wallet. b) When did this happen ? a) I don't know he also stole my watch."

"I once dated a girl with a conch shell tattooed on her inner thigh... If you put your ear up to it you could smell the ocean"