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Joke of the Day

"Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're."

"My girlfriend told me I needed to be more affectionate... So I got a second girlfriend."

"Synonym rolls... Just like grammar used to make."

"What concert costs 45 cents? Fifty Cent and Nickleback"

"What do you call an Italian with erectile dysfunction? Floppy Giuseppe"

"Casting agent: If we hire you at SNL what would you like to accomplish? Me: Staying up past 10:00."

"A Red Indian introduced me to his wife... ""This is four horses....."" I said, Wow, that's a beautiful name, What does it mean....?"" He said, nag,nag,nag,nag!"

"""This is way too delicious. Let's ruin it."" -People who put pineapple on pizza."

"Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to."

"What is a buddhist's favorite pizza? One with everything"