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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what the ridiculous fraction ordered for lunch? I don't know either but I heard she tried to halve split-pea soup and pay with a quarter."

"What do they call the pun masters of the streets? Punksters"

"i wish everything was made out of pizza i'd be like hey bro sorry I ate your pizza car and pizza house and pizza wife."

"Some insults are deeply sexist... ""You fatherfucking daughter of a dog."""

"what sign on your phone does a dog hate the most The pound sign."

"I am listening carefully, but let's be honest, your menu options haven't changed."

"Burglar gently waking me... ""you live like this?"""

"I saw some snails fighting in my driveway... They were really slugging it out."

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac who has dyslexia? He lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline"