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Joke of the Day

"[ad for umbrellas] [cut to me trying to swat away raindrops, just getting totally wet] ""There must be a better way!"" Voiceover: UMBRELLAS"

"What do you get when you cross a railroad with a refrigerator? Killed."

"Whos the coolest guy in hospital? The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy"

"I amputated my own fingers to get a date with a cute surgeon She finally took my digits this time!"

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."

"What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears? Polar bears gather around the ice hole."

"What do you and 1 ply toilet paper have in common? You BOTH eat *da*-booty!"

"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."

"What do you call a collection of memes? A memeoir."

"My life flashed before my eyes... ...Turns out I'm epileptic and died from the seizure."