86524

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac who has dyslexia? He lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"My girlfriends 2 year old nephew loves trucks. His first word was truck. He points at every truck he sees and talks about trucks in his sleep. I guess you could day he's semi crazy"

"What is small, crying and cannot get under the table? A child with pitchfork in his back"

"I'm an animal in bed I do it doggy style and come after 5 seconds"

"My housemate is going away to Oslo. He asked if I wanted to come along but I said Norway."

"Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs."

"Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy."

"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."

"MRW when FineBros start losing subscribers rapidly... *gets sued*"

"I have a degree in men's studies. It's called ""world history"". #TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!"