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Joke of the Day

"I tried to blow a hair off my laptop screen so now there's some spit next to the hair."

"My 20y/o brother went to Elementary school.. To learn firebending"

"What's big, grey and makes you jump? The elephant of surprise. :)"

"What do you call an agreement between forests? A treety"

"Did you hear about the kid who was outstanding at school? He came in when it started to rain."

"They say that it requires fewer muscles to smile than to frown... How many muscles are needed to not give a fuck?"

"My house was haunted, so I got it exorcised by an expert. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the payment and it got repossessed."

"[NSFW] What do you get when turn three blondes upside down? Two brunettes and a red-head."

"My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover."

"Today my mum told me I wasn't an only child.... Today my mum said that I was an only child. I said, I already knew that mum seeing as dad is in jail for rape."