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Joke of the Day

"I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus."

"Where do football directors go when they are fed up ? The bored room !"

"I was once a man trapped in a woman's body. Then my mother gave birth to me"

"LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing my ass off so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco."

"They probably could have called lightbulbs, just ""bulbs"". Most people would still get it."

"What's the difference between pink and purple? The squeeze."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Whats rectangular, white and blue?.... A fridge with a denim jacket on. HA!"

"Did you hear about those 3 guys who stole a Calender? They each got 4 months."

"Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there's lots of cursing, it's very confusing, everyone dies"