118143

Joke of the Day

"WebMD just diagnosed me as fergalicious"

"What's Gordon Ramsay's least favourite movie? ITS FUCKING FROZEN!"

"When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit."

"I had sex with an escort once but it went horribly wrong. I burned my dick in the exhaust pipe."

"5: ""Why is the moon so bright?"" Me: ""It's not, it's pretty dim actually."" Moon: ""I heard that."""

"Mother: ""Why are you home from school so early?"" Son: ""I was the only one who could answer a question."" Mother: ""Oh really? What was the question? Son: ""Who threw the eraser at the principal?"""

"How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight? ""It was dynamite!"""

"[dinosaur naming committee] TERRY: and we will call the flying one the Terodactyl PTERRY: I've got a crazy idea"

"Why was the gay man ambitious? Because all he wanted to do was *SUCCEED*."

"I'd say I avoid Facebook like the plague, but I don't do much to avoid the plague."