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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a very lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato."

"On the first day... ...God created the heavens and the earth. And on the second day, God created the food items in the back of my pantry."

"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say ""Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot""."

"Did you hear about the temple that burnt down? Holy smokes."

"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"

"Any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just need to stab it enough times."

"Steven Hawking nearly died last year. Luckily they sorted him out, they just switched him off and back on again."

"Before their conflict with the Decepticons, the Autobots won a much less interesting but emotionally charged war against the Emoticons."

"Golf Tip: Be sure and yell ""FORE"" before throwing your golf club at a jogger."

"Did you hear the joke about the alarm? No? It doesn't ring a bell?"