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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the temple that burnt down? Holy smokes."

"ME: (signing) What color are apples? BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors"

"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope."

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"Today i realised why my Dad divorced my mom I saw her driving license. she has an F in sex"

"Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"Mom said I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. So I became sarcastic."

"Sorry I called you ""sexy"" and didn't really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza."

"I like my women, like I like my coffee with cream in it"

"5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole."