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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say ""Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot""."

"Relationships are like yard sales.... They look like fun from a couple yards away, but up close it's just a bunch of crap you don't need."

"7: I'm beating you! Me: Ok. 7: I'm way ahead! Me: I see that. 7: I'm gonna win! Me:.... My son on the carousel horse in front of me."

"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop."

"To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it"

"Why do people make shitposts? Because they are in a crappy mood."

"FIRST MONSTER: I fancy eating the city of Hong Kong tonight. Care to join me? SECOND MONSTER: No thanks I can't stand Chinese food."

"Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st? Because they have just finished a 31 day March."

"Why did Hitler really commit suicide? He got his gas bill."

"Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any"