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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who tried to commit suicide? He jumped behind an oncoming train."

"These cats just swagged into the room like they had some serious yolo'ing to do."

"When a man can't open a jar, he has to throw it away and never speak of it again."

"I bet the first thing that happens after you die is you get charged some sort of fee."

"I heard a joke about a grizzly giving birth to cubs... It's bears repeating."

"I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by thetime I got my tights on.... the class was over!"

"What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic"

"BEARD PROGRESSION: 1. Clean shaven babyface. 2. Cool stubble. 3. Rugged. 4. Homeless man. 5. Psycho killer. 6. Religious nutjob. 7. Wizard."

"I like to walk up to strangers and ask, ""Would you take a photo of me?"" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away."

"What did the black kid get for christmas? Your bike."