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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv? Because in space, no one can hear you stream."

"What do you call Michael Buble's long lost evil twin brother? Pu-pu puble"

"Religion is like a penis Its okay to have one... But problems arise when to you force it down someones throats."

"Before I go swimming in the ocean... I always slather myself in marmite, that way I have a 50% chance of not getting eaten by a shark."

"When the aliens land I refuse to be the one who explains why mannequins have no heads/arms/legs but do have noticeably erect nipples."

"Girls named Miranda never think it's funny when you tell them they have the right to remain silent."

"For people who say ""nothing is impossible"", that's crazy. I've been successfully doing nothing for several years now."

"I hate when people say ""you always want what you don't have"" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of ""want."""

"Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land."

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy is 13 to come on his face."