158251

Joke of the Day

"I hate when people say ""you always want what you don't have"" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of ""want."""

"Officer: Do you know you have a blinker out? Me: Yes, officer. Officer: When did you plan on getting that fixed? Me: 2005"

"[Rorschach test] Patient: Leprechauns in cheetah print unitards kickflipping over flaming tree stumps Dr: I think we can skip the others"

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? By eating a Brownie."

"Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..."

"Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart."

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"As I've been teaching myself how to use GIS again, I've been listening to a lot of Eminem. And I'm beginning to feel just like a map god, map god."

"Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust? He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*"

"people almost never ask me for man advice because 98% of it is ""you should slash his tires"""