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Joke of the Day

"What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare!"

"DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed."

"Kanye West was found alive in his apartment today. Another sad day for the music industry in 2016."

"most vending-machine shaking incidents are elaborate coverups by people who don't want to be seen hugging the machine and saying i love you"

"What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs? Names."

"The future, past and present walk into a bar... Things get tense."

"I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby EDIT: Holy shit my first front page! Also RIP inbox"

"Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead? Because it was irony."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasoreass"