65541

Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed."

"I could never be friends with a dildo. They're stuck-up cunts."

"What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark!"

"[robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-"

"What are the most common mistakes your ______ makes in bed?"

"My daughter: I know everything Me: What's the capital of brazil? My daughter: that's a secret"

"People say that money is not the key to happiness... ...but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers"

"Don't ever let a chiropractor tell u a joke. It'll hit your funny bone."

"How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do the changing and another to talk about how the last bulb was bigger."

"Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind."