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Joke of the Day

"Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking."

"U2 sent their new album to every Apple device through the Cloud. I hear if you play the first song backwards you hear Bono saying ""Please buy our albums again. We're desperate."""

"I heard you like bad boys she replied: Yeah Well, i'm not trying to impress you or anything But When Disney channel asked me to go their website with parents permission, I didn't ask my parents."

"What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs? Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers"

"New gym is great. Free robe service. They shaved the top of my head? Gardening, masonry. Chanting. Swore an oath and live at the gym now."

"Why did the chicken get an ouija board? To contact those who had crossed over to the other side."

"My grandma told my 25 year old cousin that she has finally gotten used to his beard... He agreed. ""Yeah, it has really grown on me."""

"I asked my friend if he knew binary he said ""yeah I took the 101 class"""

"I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !"

"Finally figured out why clickbait is so effective"