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Joke of the Day

"I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice - you want mercy !"

"I like my women like I like my steak pink in the middle but not bleeding."

"You are what you eat. Is that why I am a human?"

"What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication? Urine trouble!"

"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."

"iPhone 8 Screen [REMOVED]"

"If you're ever get attacked by a group of white people, just yell ""EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!"" and they'll all stop to do the Cha Cha Slide."

"What's the fastest way to ruin free pie? Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning"

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year"

"GF: ""You're cute when you're drunk"" Me: ""You're cute when I'm drunk too"""