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Joke of the Day

"A jew walks into a bar ... says ouch, then sues the bastard who left it there"

"Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea? He took a ship."

"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."

"For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to 'Brandy from the club' then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am. #topahole"

"A funeral stone: This is where rests in peace an attorney, a good and honorable man A guy passing buy is shocked: "" Wow! I never knew they can bury 3 people in the same grave."""

"I want a SPIDERMAN GO app where I have to get pictures of spiderman for a furious j jonah jameson"

"Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!"

"If you don't get this joke... ...then you should probably get your hearing checked."

"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"

"Have you heard the joke about the margarine? I'd tell it you but I prefer it unsaturated."