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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."
Next Joke
"I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people... Luckily there wasn't a single person in it"
"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."
"Mixed martial arts? Why you gotta make biracial people fight each other though?"
"What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party? I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor."
"My dyslexic son came last in the school pottery contest... He wrote a poem."
"What do you call kids born in whorehouses? brothel sprouts!"
"Recently after a night of fun my SO asked... ""How do you shave your balls?"" After thinking for a few moments I say ""Carefully"""
"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."
"I said ""You're not the boss of me"" to my boss and it came true."