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Joke of the Day

"If two lesbians get married, who does the cooking? Neither, they both eat out."

"What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House? Precedent."

"(NSFW) What did God say when he walked in on his son masturbating? ""Jesus fucking Christ!"" I'll see myself out."

"Since everyone is writing a poem, here is mine to do is to be to be is to do to do is to be to be is to do I know I'm not a great poet, but I've been told this is very ""Scooby do be do"""

"So, there's a chicken and a frog in a library... The chicken shouts: ""Bok!"" The frog replies: ""Reddit!"""

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was in to bestiality, you Islamophobe. He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday"

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"What do a hand rolled cigarette and hippy sex have in common? [This](http://i.imgur.com/KRuRgF9.gif)"

"Perfect pickup line No, baby, those aren't warts, I'm just ribbed for your pleasure."

"When my child is born I'll paint flames on him so when I stand with the other parents at the nursery I can say ""Thats my son. The fast one."""