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Joke of the Day

"Since everyone is writing a poem, here is mine to do is to be to be is to do to do is to be to be is to do I know I'm not a great poet, but I've been told this is very ""Scooby do be do"""

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"""Everyone says they're voting for Clinton or Trump, but I'm voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus."""
"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'll see myself out."
"Porn Ears? Q: What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're masturbating? A: Your ears."
"Q: Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible? A: Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court."
"[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE"
"I think next time I'll go ahead and press ""2"" for Spanish. Maybe I'll actually get someone who speaks English better than the person on the ""English"" line."
"What do you call an angry German? A sauerkraut"
"[to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? ""ugh I can't wait to go home"" know who else wanted to go home"