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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What did God say when he walked in on his son masturbating? ""Jesus fucking Christ!"" I'll see myself out."

"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"

"Still in line for the iPhone 5. I'm the only one here. Thinking this might actually be an abandoned Radio Shack. Still, gonna be worth it!"

"Two sperms are talking with each other... ""Hey man, how long till we get the ovaries?"" ""Long way still, we just passed the throat."""

"What do you call an all black sorority? A minority"

"I took part in an erection competition over the weekend I made it to the semi's"

"me: Did you brush your teeth? 9: Yes me *hands him a glass of orange juice* 9: Do I have to? me: Yep. Told you not to touch my Cheetos"

"Breaking news A landslide recently struck downtown Chicago, causing $3 million worth of improvements."

"Dating Tips 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs."

"Tall Grande at Venti. It's the midget psychic at large in the perspective of Starbucks. Can I get internet points now?"