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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: Do you have any questions about the menu? Me: Did you laminate these yourself?"

"She told me she ""literally died laughing,"" and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face."

"The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce."

"What's brown, green and fuzzy and if it fell from s tree it would kill you? A pool table..."

"Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard"

"I'm giving up self control for lent It's going to be so hard!"

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"Where did sally go when the bombs dropped? Everywhere"

"Black lives matter Most black 15-year-olds are decent law-abiding citizens. It's their kids that cause all the trouble."

"If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes what will it become? Wet!"