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Joke of the Day

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"Amnesia I was going to tell a joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was."

"Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection. A fake name and a fake number."

"Ask /r/personalfinance to draw you a line, they deliver a circle. They always make ends meet!"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."

"""So I went to this convention called, ""Ladies Without Legs"", and man... was that place crawling with pussy."" - Willie Nelson"

"A taxidermist was asked, ""So what do you do for a living?"" She replied, ""Oh you know... stuff."" - *From Tumblr.*"

"[At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?"

"Knock knock ..."

"Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do? Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. ""Oh damn, shots fired!"" But not by the pizza guy."