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Joke of the Day

"I envision my high school English teacher reading my tweets, lighting up cigarette after cigarette and putting each one out on her arm."

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot ? A carrot"

"Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday"

"Why do people carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas cant walk."

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts!"

"How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Because he's black"

"Ground control to Kerbal III, how willing would you be to share your proximity to the equator? We have zero inclination."

"Where do cats go to vacation? Meowi"

"Why wouldn't Hannibal Lecter eat clowns? Because they tasted funny."