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Joke of the Day
"Why do people carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas cant walk."
Next Joke
"Don't go chasin' waterfalls. If a waterfall isn't staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life."
"A customer asked me to check their balance. ...so I pushed them over and they fell."
"But your honor, she used mild cheddar cheese to make nachos"
"How many people work in your office Less than half"
"How many feminists does is it take to change a lightbulb? None, they have a glass ceiling instead."
"Doing shots with a bunch of coked-up velociraptors."
"10 reasons why doctors use defibrillators... Number 4 will shock you!"
"Women love it when you emit three high pitched squawks, inflate your expandable throat pouch, and then dart back and forth between trees."
"If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire."