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Joke of the Day

"A boy was texting a girl... Boy: How do you spell me Girl: M e Boy: You forgot the d Girl: There's no d in me Boy: Not yet"

"[Barney the purple dinosaur comes on TV] 3-year-old: I hate this show. Me: What's wrong with it? 3-year-old: He never eats anybody."

"Where did the Nazis send the Juice? To the concentration camps."

"Why are jokes in base 8 not funny? Because 7,10,11!"

"Dicksuckers Cramp Guy 1: ""You know what this face is?"" *Holds mouth open in an O* Guy 2: ""No, what?"" Guy 1: ""Dicksuckers Cramp, get it?"" Guy 2: ""Yeah"" Guy 1: ""How often?"""

"Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision"

"What is Biz Markies favorite farm animal? Ewe, ewe got what I neeeeeed."

"If you ask for ice water in the south they look at you funny, down here they drink something called ass water?"

"A magician was walking down the street ...and turned into a grocery store."

"Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them."