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Joke of the Day

"I buy bags of Halloween candy and boxes of razor blazes just to see the look on the cashier's face."

"The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!"

"Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods."

"Why do ladies prefer 77 over 69? Because it's eight more."

"WARNING: If someone sends a link to download the new Nickelback single, DON'T CLICK ON IT! It's a link to download the new Nickelback single"

"a fun game to play at the zoo is to walk hurriedly past a person and say ""they've escaped. don't run. just walk very fast."""

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? step on her books with golf shoes"

"How does a penguin keep itself hydrated? His waddle bottle."

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty"

"I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"