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Joke of the Day

"My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor."

Next Joke
 
"I was carrying some spaghetti as I walked past a priest.. You could say I moved some pasta past a pastor."
"i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing"
"Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age."
"What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his butt"
"Why can't New Zealanders tell you how many sexual partners they've had? Every time they start to count, they fall asleep."
"What happens when a rock gets high? He gets stoned.. Badum tsss"
"UKIP's Policies"
"How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick."
"How many republicans does it take to fix a problem? No one knows. It's never happened."