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Joke of the Day

"I got a phone call from a girl saying ""Come over! No one's home!"" I went over and no one was home -Rodney Dangerfield"

"My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist."

"Why do women shit?"

"Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. I asked ""How the hell did you do that""? ""The car rolled on it""."

"Where do terrorists go when they're on the run? Apparently, they go everywhere."

"When Snoop Dogg proposed He got down on bended knee, opened up a box with a ring in it and said: ""Marriage. Wanna?"""

"[kelloggs meeting] ""okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?"" a chicken ""jim is there something wrong at home?"""

"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?"

"Did you hear about the man who got his entire left side of his body mauled off by a bear? He's all right now."

"A Blanket? It would be a fukkit."