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Joke of the Day

"Picking up women in bars is like picking up Avocadoes in a supermarket... You have no idea how damaged they are until you get them home."

"My son came home from school in tears and told me that his girlfriend had slept with his best friend. I was flattered, I never knew I was his best friend."

"A patella throws a party Because he's fun-knee"

"What's a Grecian Urn? About 2 bucks an hour depending on what the current minimum wage is."

"I've just watched a distressing film on how African children have to walk up to ten miles to bring water to their village. I think it was far fetched."

"Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died."

"*watches movie* *sees a scene with full frontal male nudity* *pauses for three months*"

"I was going to tell a Voldemort joke.... But everyone already nose it."

"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !"

"How does a detective stay cool in hot summer? He works on a cold case."