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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an ""Act of God"" by insurance companies."

"Mommy I got an A ""Mommy! Mommy! I got an A"" says Tommy to his mommy ""So what? You still have cancer!"" says mommy"

"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."

"7y:why are you putting make up on? Me:to look nicer 7y:when does it start working?"

"Why does the communist party hate planes? Because they're always Stalin"

"My first time doing standup was a lot like my first time having sex. I finished way too early and when it was over I couldn't stop apologizing."

"Just when we thought there were no more celebrities to die and then WHAM!"

"How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high."

"*feels painful possible cavity* *eats chocolate to feel better*"

"People that say ""we're not even white, we're pink"" obviously haven't seen the parts of me that have never been in sunlight."