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Joke of the Day

"Mugger: ""Hand over your stuff! No funny business!"" *I give him my wallet and phone but not my business proposal to open a clown college*"

"What do you get when you put a knife in a babys ass? A hard on"

"Why do you become a smurf every time you are sad? Because you're feeling blue."

"My favorite extreme sport is riding the passenger seat while my wife drives"

"Bjork is my favourite singer-songwriter/IKEA side table."

"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"

"I'm thinking of starting a Death-Metal themed take-away joint that caters to Pirates. I'm gonna call it ""Pizzas of Hate""."

"A little boy told his mom that he wants to be like Donald trump when he grows up Mom: Well pick one, you cant be both"

"Tom Cruise was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. Still awaiting his response..."

"I found out today it's OK to date a nun.... You just can't get in the habit!"