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Joke of the Day

"I want a family beach vacation. Hubby wants a family ski vacation. Hubby showing kids video of tsunamis. But 2 can play. Avalanche anyone?"

"""Hey."" ""Hey."" ""What's up?"" ""Nothing."" END OF CONVERSATION."

"It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours."

"Did you hear about the alien megastructures located near the Milkyway? *Handwave* nanobots"

"What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... ...Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base three!"

"I bought a thesaurus at a store today. Brought it home to find all the pages were blank... I have no words to describe how angry I am"

"[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me"

"I told my friend not to play Pokemon Go in India You won't just find a Pikachu there, you'll also find a gang banging you."

"A nasty little joke Q: How can you make a gay man fuck a woman? A: By shitting in her cunt."