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Joke of the Day
"My girlfreind says I'm an idiot who can't do anything right. So I packed her bags and left."
Next Joke
"All the toys under the tree Have now gone completely missing You've been hit by You've been struck by Reverse Santa Claus"
"Q: Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A: A barber."
"I read all tweets with poor grammar and word choice in a Cookie Monster voice."
"Don't mind me. Just over here shaking my phone like a Magic 8-Ball, trying to get the screen to rotate back."
"king kong would have done better at work if he perfected his elevator pitch. yea, that one's a zero."
"I had an hour to kill so I watched the last two minutes of a basketball game today"
"What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin"
"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? ""Go fuck yourself!"""
"Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane."